The past week had been a weird one. I had deadlines due for work, loads of plans with friends, and too many late nights where I tossed and turned in bed. On those sleepless nights, I thought myself into anxiety. I wish I wasn’t such a worrier but I totally am. On the first of April, it will be my one month of being a freelancer and I’m reminded everyday to not mess up or I’ll end up back, working in a cubicle. No pressure! I started questioning my life decision again on what I am doing, how I’m only getting older every day, and what I need to do to be “successful.” Yeahhhh, it’s been that kind of week.
I took some time to escape my mind by spending a few hours at Descanso Gardens. It’s so close to the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles and Pasadena but once you’re there, it feels like the city life is so far away. The Tulips and Cherry Blossoms are currently in bloom and it was a beautiful, vibrant sight.
I walked through the gardens and appreciated the greenery and the flowers for being nature’s gift to us. For a few hours I was able to focus on the beauty of my surrounding and took a rest from being overwhelmed about the things I don’t have.
For the first time in a very long time, I feel like things are coming together and it’s scary. It’s like I’m almost there and I don’t want to mess it up. Usually around this time in any situation, I would be able to pinpoint all the things I don’t like but this time, it’s pretty normal. That’s a foreign feeling to me. There’s no drama, no chaos, no crazy red flags… I’m still holding my breath that I don’t do something to screw things up and that people aren’t going to see through me.
I have more work to do today and I have to plan for the week ahead. Marjie is flying in from Vancouver to hang out for a few days! I cannot wait to catch up.
Happy Sunday to all!